


Resistant Soul

by Jastra



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Captivity, Dark, I don't know how to tag this, Loss of Control, M/M, Manipulation, Mind Games, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Possessive Behavior, Rating will change, Religious Cults, Spoilers, Torture, no happy ending, twisted relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-16 05:49:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14158140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jastra/pseuds/Jastra
Summary: Joseph is determined to make Rook part of his family, even if he has to first strip the young deputy down from his sin of pride no matter what it takes. But Rook is not so easy to bring back into the flock and Joseph finds himself quickly tempted by the deadly sin of lust.





	1. Pride

**Author's Note:**

> I had to write something, I just had to!  
> 

Rook sat completely still as he stared at the cold concrete floor of Dutch's bunker, his eyes glazed over and void of any emotion. If someone was to look at the young man with his hands tied to the bed post, they would have wondered whether the handsome young thing was alive at all, yet the soft and stable breathing gave away that Rook indeed was still alive and kicking, though...at times he wondered if he had died in that nuclear blast. Maybe the flames he had driven through had been the fires of purgatory and now he had finally found his personal place in hell; the small room inside the bunker where he was being held captive by Joseph Seed.

Perhaps this was reward for all the horrible things he had done, for the lives he had taken or failed to save. It was his fault Eli, Marshall, Virgil, the Sheriff along with his friends were all dead, not to forget the numerous men he had killed while under Jacob's influence.

None of this would have happened if he had just kept his eyes on the damn road. Maybe he would have been able to see the falling tree! If he had not crashed the car, Joseph wouldn't have been able to take him and kill Dutch.

The young man blinked few times and lifted his head slightly when he heard Joseph hum amazing grace somewhere inside the bunker, his voice echoing eerily from the metal walls of the closed space. Despite how beautiful and strong voice the older man had, hearing him hum that song made Rook's skin crawl. He had loved that beautiful and calm hymn so much, but now it only brought nightmares of the copter crash when Seed had whispered how no one was coming to save him.

In the end, Joseph had been right...about everything. Perhaps that was the most painful thing to accept and understand. Could they have been able to save more lives if they had not intervened? He had destroyed 3 bunkers, all that could have sheltered people.

Rook was not sure how long had passed since Joseph had _**saved**_   him by carrying him down into the bunker. All he knew, was that it had felt like few days and that the earth had stopped shaking. Once the nerve wracking roars of the bombs had ceased, stillness and silence had reclaimed the land above and one could only wonder what kind of apocalyptic destruction the fire storm and the numerous blast waves had left in their wake.

A part of him wished he'd never see that.

 _Am I going to die down here? Tortured by Joseph to death for taking everything from him_? Rook wondered, knowing that his situation was abysmally bad. He had been captured and brought to a bunker by a man who had lost everything thanks to him. Joseph had said he had forgiven him, but it was hardly reassuring and meant very little.

The young deputy closed his eyes for a moment and the images of the bombs and fire flashed before his mind...along with the faces of his dead friends, all who had helped him to bring down the cult. They were probably all gone, every single one of them. The Sheriff, Jerome, Hurk, Nick, Grace, Jess... No, he didn't want to continue thinking just how many good people and friends had probably burned to death or gotten killed other ways in the blast. Of course he couldn't know for sure, but Dutch's bunker had been the only one nearby and none of them had made it.

 _Of all the people in that car, only we survived,_ Rook pondered and wanted to laugh at the fate who seemed to have twisted sense of humor. “I killed Faith, John and Jacob...I destroyed everything he built and had here and in the end he turns out to be right and saves me,” he murmured softly, wanting to hear just how outright insane it sounded.

Everyone in his inner circle knew that he was not easily scared, but as he thought how Joseph had checked whether he was alive or not after the car crash, pulled him out and carried him to safety through the fires, he couldn't help but feel intimidated. The fact that he had killed Dutch in cold blood meant that the Father had only wanted him. His friends could have been simply knocked out cold by the crash, but Joseph had not helped them.

“Amazing Grace, How sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me...”

Rook tensed up when he heard Joseph's voice come closer and tried once more to get his hands free from the bed post, but was once more forced to face the facts that it was no use. Joseph had made sure he would not get free and impose threat to either of them.

The cold metal of the handcuffs had bitten painfully into Rook's flesh and his wrists were red and bloody. He had tried many times to get his hands from the cuffs, but each time his efforts were rewarded with pain and hopelessness.

He was still in somewhat of a shock and trying to understand just what an irreversible and catastrophic thing had happened in the world. The reality had started to slowly dawn upon him one piece at the time and each passing hour he became more agitated and hopeless. He was under Joseph's total control, unable to defend himself against the cult leader who no doubt had plans for him, after all he had called him his child.

It wasn't only Hope's County that had been hit by the bombs but the whole damn country! His friends, family and boyfriend were probably all gone, killed in the blasts and fire. Everyone and everything he had cared about and loved could be gone and the worst thing was that he would never know for sure! It was like poison to his soul, eating away at it.

He had even planned taking Boomer back home and introducing it to his boyfriend who had tried persuading them to adopt a dog...and now even they were gone.

After the emergency broadcast, the radio waves had gone silent and Joseph had not even tried contacting others. It was as if the older man was content with the fate, like it was all in God's plan.

Rook could feel cold sweat form on his brow and his heart start to beat faster when he hears Joseph's steps approach his room. He had fought the insane cult leader so long and arduously only for the man to be right all along about the world. There was no one coming to free him, not that there was anywhere left to go.

 _This can't be happening, maybe I've taken just too much Bliss and this is some delusion I am having._ All he had was this life inside the bunker as Joseph's “child” and knowing the man, that could mean many, many things. Child was something to be guided, their mind molded into something great over the years....to be scolded and punished if behaved badly.

Death started to seem a rather tempting solution to this predicament, at least that way he'd be free from what ever horrendous torture the Father had planned. Maybe that way, he would be able to reunite with his family and boyfriend. If there was nothing left above, what else could he do?Accepting this life with Joseph felt insane.

Finally, the door opened and in walked Joseph Seed, looking for a moment like he was miles away before gazing at Rook, his eyes empty. It was so hard to read the older man which made him all the more intimidating.

“I once was lost, but now am found, T'was blind but now I see,” Seed finished the first verse as he slowly walked over to his captive, towering over him for a moment. The younger man looked up at Joseph who stared down at him before crouching down before the junior deputy.

Rook glared daggers at Joseph, but kept his silence. They had not spent much time together after their arrival and for that he was thankful. No doubt Seed had been busy going through the bunker's supplies and gear.

“God has truly blessed us, my child,” Joseph whispered in heartfelt manner and lifted his hands to take gently hold of Rook's face in almost loving manner. The younger man felt a shiver run down his spine. Joseph's hands felt so warm and only now did Rook realize how cold he was from being forced to sit on the cold concrete floor, yet the older man's touch merely made him feel sick.

When the young deputy tried to yank his head away, the Father merely tightened his grip painfully, forcing his captive to look into his piercing blue eyes.

“This bunker will shelter us two for next few years. It will protect us, feed us and protect your spiritual growth from the sins of the old world.”

 _Years? Spiritual growth?_ Rook thought and could barely fathom what it meant in reality.

Spending years trapped inside a bunker with the mad cult leader was a nightmare come true. Joseph Seed had planned living through the Collapse with his family and followers inside the vast and well supplied bunkers, but this fate had been forced upon him suddenly. Rook had not been prepared for a life like this. Hell, he hadn't even given it a thought!

If someone had few days ago told Rook how he was going to survive nuclear blast because Joseph Seed would carry him into a bunker and then forgive him for killing his brothers, then welcoming him to Seed family as his child, he would have laughed himself to death.

“Mr. Roosevelt has prepared well for the Collapse. We will endure this trial together, my son,” Joseph said and finally released his hold on Dep's head. “and when the world and you are ready, we will once more step into its light. It will be free from sins of the old and we can begin anew.”

 

 _What did you do with Dutch's body?_ Rook wanted to ask but held his tongue; he wasn't sure he wanted to know. It felt so unfair, so maddening to think how the veteran survivalist had helped you throughout the campaign, only to be murdered in cold blood by Joseph, his life work taken my the cult leader.

Rook wanted to lash out at Joseph, to yell and fight but it would do no good. He had to come up with something, with a plan to get control back.

Maybe there wasn't left anything above and law had no longer any meaning, but at least he could save himself from whatever twisted plan Seed had in store for him. All he needed was not to lose control over himself as well. If that happened, if he let Joseph in and control his psyche, he'd be doomed for certain.

“You must be famished, you need to retain your strength,” Joseph said and only then did Rook realize that he had not eaten probably in days.

He didn't really feel the hunger, but his body certainly felt weaker. He had no sense of hunger and the mere idea of eating something felt disgusting. How could he eat when all he could think of was how his family and friends were dead? Even the cuddly yet intimidating Cheeseburger was probably nothing but charred remains, forgotten...

 _This is unfair....of all the people why did he have to survive that crash?_ Rook thought as he stared at Joseph. It was a childish thought. Life was not fair and he knew it, but it didn't make it any less painful.

Water was the only thing he had accepted from the older man and even that Joseph had poured into his mouth. It had been rather humiliating experience. He was completely dependent on Joseph in this state and it was something he had hard time swallowing. It was clear the older man was not going to trust him one bit and kept the deputy handcuffed all the time.

Rook couldn't help but feel physically ill when he saw Joseph pull out a protein bar from his pocket. It wasn't much, but it would give his body the energy not to deteriorate too much. He knew it was in his best interest to eat it, but his pride was lifting its head again.

“Here, accept this blessed food that will see us through these years of isolation. I know you must not have appetite right now but it is necessary,” Joseph whispered as he offered the piece of food to Rook whose jaw clenched. The mere though of accepting food from Joseph like this was disgusting and absolutely repulsive. It was like some farce of a holy communion.

 _I refuse to accept this!_ Rook thought and wished he had the will power and courage to try and his own life by bashing his head against the bedpost or something, but his survival instinct was too strong for him to end his own life. With any luck, Joseph would just end his life when he'd see he was not going to play along his sick and twisted little game, that he was not going to be a son to him. Really, it was the logical thing to do; that way he could have all the supplies to himself and last twice as long.

Rook, whose emotions were like maelstrom inside his soul, lost control over himself and lashed out at Joseph by trying to bite his hand, but the older man had been prepared for such reaction and avoided the attack easily. However, the piece of food fell onto the floor and that was the greater insult. In these trying times of scarcity and isolation, wasting food and resources could just as well be a sin.

Joseph's gentle, and calm appearance fell only for few seconds but in that time, Rook could see the fury and pain in his eyes. He looked like a man who had lost everything...yet there was a glimmer of hope because he had the cause of his pain under his captivity and he could do whatever he wanted with him.

Without a warning, Seed punched the deputy across the face so that his head turned and he saw stars, spitting a bit of blood onto the bed. The older man then took a painfully tight grip of his captive's jaw and cleaned closer, his eyes filled with fire and fury. It seemed as if Joseph Seed also knew what wrath was.

“Now, there is that ugly sin of yours again...pride..” Joseph whispered as he studied every small change in Rook's expression. “It has etched itself on your mind and soul...tainted it, corrupted your very being.” Rook grit his teeth and tried to pull away from the bearded man but couldn't. He felt like prey...weak, the next one to be culled from the herd. “John thought sin could be removed by writing it on your skin, then removing it, but I fear your sin has consumed you thoroughly,” Joseph continued as and touched his captive's face with his free hand, trailing his fingers feather lightly down his temple and cheek. The younger man trembled slightly when Joseph leaned slightly closer, his face almost touching Rook's.

“It can not be removed so easily,” the Father said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Rook could feel his heart start to race faster as adrenaline started to course through his veins. There had been nothing easy about John's method.

“I've saved you from the hellfire above and welcomed you into my family with open arms. And even though you took my brothers from me, I forgave you sincerely,” Joseph continued and tilted his head slightly to the side. A ghost of a smile passed his lips and the look in his eyes was possessive and absolutely terrifying. “Yet in your pride you cast aside the mercy and hope I offer you.”

“You must be completely insane if you think I accept to become your family, your “child, ” Rook hissed through his teeth, glaring daggers at the older man who eyed him as if he was merely an unruly child throwing a tantrum. “You are better off just killing me now. The world maybe gone, but I refuse to live my life as your faithful puppet!”

“It is clear to me what must be done. You must be cleansed not only from the sin of pride, but all of your sins so that you can be baptized and born anew,” the bearded man said somberly. “Only then you can walk into the new world, free from the burdens and sins of the old. Only when you are pure, can you truly welcome the gift of becoming my child.”

 _Cleanse me from all my sins?_ That did not sound good. Was he going to kill him only when he had repented and confessed every single sin in his life?

“I will never become family to you, Seed. Do you honestly think that after everything you've put me and my friends through I will accept any of this bullshit you try? That I will simply let you dig into my mind and turn me into your faithful follower?” Rook growled out loud, his feelings taking the better of him. Yet, the more he thought about the time ahead, the more scared he became even if he didn't want to.

He was under his mercy, under Joseph Seed's total control and all they had was time. The Father could torture him and manipulate him for weeks, months...until he was a shell of his former self. The thought of being broken by Joseph to become one of his faithful was scarier than death. Should that happen, would he still be him? Rook couldn't help but think of the “angels” he had encountered, the poor men and women who had lost their mind completely to the Bliss.

Could Joseph break his mind with just words, torture and behavioral conditioning? The man was charismatic, having formed a cult around him. Rook knew he couldn't let him manipulate him, to get under his skin. If he let Joseph have any control over his mind he was done for. He had to fight, to turn the tide around and play the man's own game.

For a moment he was sure the Father had seen the fear in his eyes, but Joseph merely hushed him silent.

“There is no need to be afraid, deputy. I will save your soul. I will strip you naked and free you from all your sins that burden you. I will baptize you and prepare you into your new life,” the older man whispered in almost loving manner.

“I don't want to be saved by you,” Dep hissed through his teeth, but the Father merely smiled for few seconds, as if he knew better, that deep down, the younger man wanted to be part of his family, to be saved and brought back into the flock.

“And there is that pride again...” Joseph murmured softly as he stared deep into Rook's eyes. “I will free you from that deadly sin that threatens your very life and soul, even if I have to whip it and bleed it out from your body along with every other sin until you are pure.“

Rook found himself trembling in fear, something he had not experienced in ages. It wasn't that he was afraid of pain, he had experienced tons of it, but...to be unable to do anything about it, to be utterly powerless and dependent on his captor who was unhinged was absolutely terrifying.

“Just kill me already,” the younger man replied in hopes of being saved from the torture, but all he got was a dark, solemn smile from father Joseph.

He leaned closer, whispering to Rook's ear, his warm breath tickling the younger man's skin.

“You are my family now, and I will never let you go. I will dig my nails into your mind and rip it apart layer by layer until you've confessed to every single sin, no matter how insignificant they may seem.”

Rook froze when he felt Joseph embrace him, his body warm, the sensation almost comforting in the cold bunker.

“After all my child, we have all the time in the world.”

 

 

 


	2. Sinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummm, this turned longer than I anticipated. And longer usually means worse with me...oh dear God no!  
> English is not my native language so please forgive me for all the mistakes.

 

“I am not a sinner,” Rook found himself murmuring out loud, and though his words were barely more than a whisper, they rang loud and clear inside the quiet bunker with just two living souls inside it.

His mind was constantly wavering between the waking world and that of dreams, well more like nightmares.

The young deputy had barely gotten any sleep after Joseph had pulled him from that car wreck and brought him down into the bunker, yet his sleep deprivation wasn't directly caused by the older man, though leaving him handcuffed to the bedpost certainly helped.

No, his lack of sleep was self caused, brought upon him by the horrible nightmares that haunted him. Perhaps his pride had also something to do with it. He did not want to let the cult leader see him in such a vulnerable and defenseless state, but it was rather laughable since he was completely dependent on Joseph in every aspect; he understood that very well. The truth was, it was the nightmares that kept him awake even if he didn't want to admit it.

Every time the young man closed his eyes and fell asleep, he'd dream of fire and smoke, of the Collapse. He'd see the mushroom cloud rising in the horizon and hear the deafening roars of the bombs. His family, friends and lover would either get swept away by the blast wave or burn to death in the flame storm that followed. The only things that didn't burn in that hellfire were Joseph, his brothers, Faith and the church where it all had begun.

Yet, the days of depriving himself of sleep were starting to show and Rook found himself constantly dozing off, his head seeking the soft mattress that rested on the metal frame of the bed next to him. Each time that happened, he tried to desperately correct his posture and stay focused, only to soon find himself dozing off once more, half-asleep.

He really felt almost like a child who was afraid of sleep because of the nightmares. God he hated that feeling, especially since Joseph constantly called him his child.

 _I don't want to see my family and friends burn again,_ Rook thought and could feel despair creeping in. _Or Joseph and his brothers torturing me_.

Though the gnawing hunger and the uncomfortable position with his hands cuffed to the bedpost had helped him stay awake, even they could no longer hold the need for sleep at bay.

Rook stared at the empty chair before him where Joseph liked to sit and just watch him in silence. For some odd reason that chair started to slowly turn sideways and before he knew it, he had fallen fast asleep, his head resting on the soft mattress.

_Rook blinked a couple of times in confusion when he found himself standing before the small and humble wooden church where it all had begun. The double doors were closed and it sounded like the sermon had already started inside._

_It was a warm summer day with clear sky and sunshine that warmed his body and soul. No one was in a hurry and he could feel the warm and gentle summer breeze caress his form. It was really a perfect Sunday._

_It sounded like the church was packed with people and though the doors were shut tight, he could still hear the words to Amazing Grace with clarity. He wanted to go inside and join the others, to be welcomed into the warm and loving community._

_He felt a tad ashamed to have arrived this late, but nevertheless chose to pull the doors open and step inside to join everyone inside the God's house. Rook was happy to see that the seats were all filled with familiar faces of friends and family...there were even the loved ones and friends he had lost over the years. Somehow they were all there, singing so beautifully, so serenely. He felt so happy and fortunate to be there among them._

_It really felt like a perfect place in god's loving embrace, but when he gazed at the altar and saw who was standing there holding the sermon, he froze, not wanting to take a single step forward._

_At the altar stood Joseph with his family gathered around him, waiting for the young man to join them. Even though he tried to resist, some sinister invisible force pushed him to move towards Joseph who beckoned him to approach them._

_Rook could feel panic and dread overwhelm his soul and he wanted to just grab his boyfriend and run as far away as possible from the older man, but found himself unable to change his direction or stop. He slowly made his way up to the altar where Joseph welcomed him with open arms, still shirtless._

“ _My child, have you finally come to join my flock? Are you ready to accept my mercy and love? To be part of my family?” He asked, voice warm and filled with mercy and love. “Have you seen the error of your ways?_

_Rook couldn't move, hell he could barely breathe when Joseph stepped down from the stand and took gently hold of the younger man's face, looking deep into his eyes and into his soul._

_Everyone stopped singing and the church became deathly silent, awaiting for the judgment of the young man. Suddenly Joseph's expression lost all warmth and he looked enrage, pushing Rook away from him and towards his brothers. He pointed at him accusingly, eyes filled with disgust and wrath._

“ _This one is still ridden with pride and wrath, his soul putrid and filled with nothing but sin,” Joseph almost snarled and the next thing Rook knew, he had been pushed down against the wooden church floor by Jacob who was on top of him,his knife pressed against his bare throat, ready to cull him from the herd._

“ _He brings only destruction and wrath of God with him! Because of him the world will be set a flame and it will burn in the fires of hell!” the Father yelled as the world turned hellish red around them._

_A bomb roared in the distance and the dream shifted slightly. The warm summer day had vanished and replaced by an apocalyptic sight._

_John had pinned Rook's arm against the wooden floor of the church and was carving the word “sinner” into his flesh over and over again until his arm was covered in deep cut wounds and blood that flowed out. The young man yelled in pain and tried to get his arm free and Jacob off him but it was all in vain._

“ _Look what your pride has brought upon us all, the world is on fire because of your sins!” Joseph said and to Rook's horror, he could see his loved ones burning in the church benches, singing that horrible hymn until their vocal cords burned._

“ _I am not a sinner!” Rook yelled desperately, but none of the brothers listened to his lies. John kept smiling and carving that word into his arm without any mercy._

_'I didn't do this, I didn't set the world aflame', Rook thought in terror and could feel the earth shake under the painful weight of the bombs, yet the church withstood the blast-waves and fire._

_His actions couldn't have brought this upon them, that was just impossible and insane. He had nothing to do with the bombs or the end of the world._

“ _This is not my fault!” he yelled, but no one listened to him._

_Joseph knelt down and looked into his fearful eyes._

“ _But it is. This is the result of your pride,” Joseph whispered quietly.”Your sins that taint your soul.”_

“ _You have to believe me! I didn't cause this! I didn't set the world aflame!” He continued but it didn't stop the storm or the pain. The church was on fire and the flames were licking his skin and soul._

_The only voice besides him was Joseph's who was singing amazing grace._

“ _Amazing Grace. how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me..”_

_His eyes widened in terror when he saw his beloved burning while staring at him accusingly, like this really was his fault, that because of him, they were never going too see each other again._

“ _I will have you, deputy...”_

“ _I am not a sinner!” Rook found himself screaming in fear. “I did not do this! I am not a sinner!!” He saw Joseph tower over him as the fires consumed him, burning his flesh and soul. “This is not my fault....I am not a sinner Father!! Please!”_

“ _You are mine. No one is coming to save you.”_

“Everyone is a sinner, child,” Rook heard Joseph's gentle voice say and he quickly found himself back inside the bunker and the real world, his skin coated in cold sweat thanks to the nightmare that had felt all too real. He felt ashamed, hating how raw and powerful his emotions had been. In reality he'd never show such emotion, such despair, right?

The young deputy blinked a couple of times, still hazy and somewhat tired due to the lack and quality of the sleep. When he finally managed to focus his eye sight and shake off the drowsiness and haze, he saw Joseph sitting on that chair across him, watching him with calm and unreadable expression on his face.

To his shame, he realized that Joseph had been humming amazing grace almost like a lullaby to help him sleep, but that horrible song had made it into his dream and manifested as something horrifying. Truly, that beautiful hymn gave him only nightmares now, had ever since the copter crash.

 _How long has he been sitting there and watching me?_ The young deputy found himself wondering and remembered with clarity that the chair had been empty before he had fallen asleep. _Minutes? Hours?_

Being unable to tell the passage of time was really starting to get to him.

There was not a single clock inside the room where Joseph kept him and no doubt the cult leader preferred it that way. It would be so much easier to get underneath his skin and affect his psyche when he was disoriented, confused and somewhat severed from reality; as if they already weren't.

The uncertainty was driving the young man slowly insane. He had never considered how much being unable to tell the passage of time would affect his psyche. Night and day had no meaning inside the bunker and he found himself yearning to know how many days and hours he had spent there. To him it started to feel like he had either been there days or a week. Just knowing the hour would do miracles to his sanity.

“You, my brothers, Faith...even I know the corruptive touch of sin,” Joseph explained and leaned slightly forward, eying his slightly disoriented captive in calculating manner, studying and observing every change in his expression. “Pride, envy, wrath...even lust,” the older man continued quietly. A ghost of a smile passed his lips and for a moment, Joseph looked almost dreamy. “All the sins I've written on my skin...I know them personally. I know how destructive and tempting they can be.”

The cult leader paused for a moment and Rook could feel his gaze traveling up and down his bound form. For a fraction of a second, he was sure he saw something dark lie beneath the calmness, something Seed kept at bay and under tight control.

The younger man who felt still tired and somewhat hazy found himself reading all the sins Joseph had engraved on his flesh. He had not paid them much attention before, but now he found his mind and gaze wandering. The word “lust” definitely drew his gaze and the young deputy was quick to avert his eyes when he realized it had lingered there a tad too long. Thankfully Joseph had not noticed, or maybe he just didn't care.

“I've listened to God's whispers of the Collapse, and waited so long for the prophecy to come true,” the older man said quietly and looked up towards the ceiling. “He guided and helped me to save my family and flock,” Joseph continued and slowly closed his eyes for a moment, as if to listen. “But you took them from me. You've listened to the sweet and poisonous words one must not heed nor follow. Voices that try to tempt us from the path to Eden, so that we become lost, blinded and deafened to God's mercy...just like you've become, child.”

“I am not lost, nor am I a sinner,” Rook replied defiantly and Joseph opened his eyes, smiling solemnly at him. He could not help but wonder how much he talked in his sleep. It was something his boyfriend had teased him about more than once. Had Joseph heard him call him Father while dreaming?

“We are all flawed and receptive to the temptations and lures of sin. It takes hold of us and grows like cancer unless we cut it out and abolish it completely. John knew this to be true,” the Father said with a reminiscent smile.

The charismatic cult leader had clearly loved his family and missed them dearly. He had lost John, Jacob and Faith to the sinful and arrogant young man who was handcuffed to the bed post. They had become martyrs and were now in God's loving embrace because of his captive's pride and wrath. But it was alright...after all he was going to make the deputy his new family whether he wanted it or not. He'd see the error of his ways and join his flock as his most faithful and devoted child. Joseph was going to take everything from him.

“You are a result of a sin that is allowed to fester and grow until it overwhelms your very soul...” the Father whispered darkly and Rook didn't like the look in his blue eyes one bit. It was possessive, unhinged and hungry. “But you are all I have left and no matter how wretched or lost you are, I will guide you into my flock to become my most beloved and devoted child. Together we will march to Eden's gate and step into the light of the world when it is ready. I am your Father.”

The tired deputy actually smiled mockingly and bared his teeth at the older man who wore his sins on his body with pride, supposedly free of them.

“Well, I guess you will have to walk there alone, because I have no intentions of joining your fucked up family, ” the younger man hissed through his teeth, refusing to call the older man Father in any meaning of the word. “I rather burn in hell.”

There was no way in hell he'd grace Joseph by calling him with religious status. He was a leader of a doomsday cult and nothing more. Well a doomsday cult that just happened to be right, but that was beside the point! When it came to age the older man could almost be his father since he was nearly twice his age, give or take few years.

 _Why can't he just kill me? I should have died inside that car with my friends,_ Rook wondered and the image of his companions lifeless bodies flashed before his eyes. _Why did he have to pull me out of that wreck? Why couldn't he just have left me there to burn?_ It was rather useless to dwell on it because he knew exactly why Joseph had spared him; to have revenge _._ The older man was going to make him pay and repent for every wrong, every injustice he had committed towards him and his family, his flock.

It was maddening to realize that if he had just walked away like Joseph had suggested, things could have turned out very differently. Maybe all of them could have made it into the bunker if he had just swallowed his pride and left with his friends. But he had fought the Father, wanting to release his companions, and as result he had become Josephs' captive to be tormented, broken and brainwashed.

“ _No one is coming to save you,_ ” oh how true those words had turned out to be.

Rook was so tempted to look what was on the other side of the curtain of death, but...he was afraid of it, of ending his own life.

 

Joseph looked almost amused as he eyed the younger male with a dreamy look in his half-lidded blue eyes. Rook tried to stay defiant and strong despite knowing that he was facing a future with only hopelessness and despair, that no one was going to save him because there was probably nothing but wasteland up there, still smoldering, the air filled with nothing but dust and ash. All he had was Joseph who could just as well be God to him...after all he had all the control and decided his fate.

Never in his life had he felt such despair.  
“Oh how lost you are, child, struggling and thrashing blindly in the darkness without even realizing it,” Father Joseph murmured softly as he stared at his bound prisoner. “It is all because of your pride...it blinds you to the truth and eats away at your mind and soul,” the sinister older man continued and reached towards the deputy, gently taking hold of his head as if to bless him. “Your sins keep you awake, don't they? They haunt your dreams and torment you. You are burdened by them...and yearning for redemption. I can offer you that.”

When Rook felt Joseph's warm hands take hold of his head in almost loving manner, he couldn't help but recall the video he had watched on the copter before he had lost all signal; the video of the man getting blinded by the Father. Fear and dread took a hold of him and for a fleeting moment he was sure his captor was going to do the same to him. His thumbs were just below his eyes, ready to squish them and permanently blind him to the world.

“No, don't touch me!”the tired young man found himself snapping, fear evident in his tone and eyes.

The Father had said he would not kill him, but Rook had no hard time believing Joseph wasn't prepared to cripple him or blind him. Yet, in closer view it felt unlikely. There could be complications and the cult leader was not going to risk his only lamb dying because of too much bleeding or resistant infection. Sure, Dutch had hoarded antibiotics but they were mostly weaker ones.

When the cult leader merely hushed him silent, Rook couldn't help but feel a pang of shame for showing fear in front of Joseph, for letting his captor see just how hopeless and desperate he was becoming as he realize more and more how futile everything was. The small smile on the bearded man's face hinted that he knew exactly what he had feared and what was going through his head.

 _He is testing my defenses,_ Rook realized and it really felt like he was a prey trapped in a same room with a blood thirsty predator who was merely playing with him, ready to sink his talons into his psyche and tear it apart.

 _This, this can't be all that is left for me._ _It just can't._

It was so hard to accept that despite everything he had done to help others over the weeks, he had been rewarded with this nightmarish fate as Joseph's prisoner. Whims of fate were truly insane, cruel and without any mercy. He had resisted and fought the older man at every turn, struggling to bring him down for all the horrible things he had done...and this was all it had led to. For all is actions he had become Joseph's prisoner to be either broken or killed as the world above them burned. There was no future outside the bunker, he was sure of it.

 _I want to go home,_ Rook found himself thinking. It was a childish thought and he knew it, but at this moment he couldn't help it. It was so painful, so soul crushing to know that his home and loved ones were all gone and he hadn't even had a chance to say goodbye.

He would have given anything to see his family, friends and boyfriend one last time to tell how much he loved all of them, how much they meant to him...but the cold truth was that they were probably all gone and even if they were not, he'd never see them again. All he had was Joseph and that was perhaps the most painful thing to swallow.

Without even realizing it, he had started to hear horrible whispers inside his soul, making him wonder if this actually was some divine punishment for all the wrongs he had done in his life?

The only memento he had left of his loved ones was a single photo of him and his boyfriend. He kept it hidden inside his jacket's pocket, close to his heart all the time. It was an anchor, a reminder for him to come back home unharmed and to not be careless. He was not going to lose it, no matter what.

"I can see it, the fear and despair in your eyes...but there is nothing you need to be afraid of, child. I will help you atone for all the sins you've committed,” Joseph whispered dangerously, the look in his blue eyes suggesting he was enjoying the slightly fearful, yet defiant expression Rook had on his face.

“We both know how heinous and unforgivable your sins are. Not only have you sinned against me, my family and my flock, but also against your friends and companions. They've been taken, tortured and broken. They have all suffered because of you, ” Joseph murmured as he eyed his prisoner with a ghost of a smile on his lips. He looked rather tranquil, like all he knew was calmness. “Your pride. That is the source and origin of all the pain in here. In your pride, you brought the wrath of God upon as all.”

The young deputy wanted to look away but Joseph forced him to keep the eye contact, his gentle hold turning into a painfully tight grip in and instant. The tranquil and loving expression turned somewhat vindictive and possessive...unhinged even.

“You brought ruin with you to this place, to us all. You chose to rather destroy everything in your path and watch the world burn than swallow your pride and leave,” Joseph almost snarled, the look in his beautiful blue eyes possessive and dark. “This, all of this is your fault. Every life lost and every tortured soul is a result of your selfish and misguided actions.” He leaned even closer and whispered against the deputy's ear, his tone and words dripping with venom. “Everyone is dead because of you.”

For a moment, the tired young man believed those horrible words.

 _I did not set the world aflame. I came here to bring order to the county, to protect the innocent from Joseph and his cult. I did what was expected of me, nothing more,_ Deputy thought, reminding himself to stay strong under the constant verbal abuse. He knew enough to know that the older man was trying to attack his self-esteem.

The first step was to make him admit that he was a sinner and that this was all his fault. You know what they say about lies. If you repeat one often enough, it becomes the truth. The moment Joseph would make him believe this was all his fault, that he was indeed a sinner, he'd lose the sight of who he was and would eventually fall under Joseph's control

“No,” Rook said after a moment of deafening silence. “They are not.”

There was fire once more in his eyes and it seemed to almost amuse the Father who pulled back a bit to study his prisoner.

“Denying them won't make your sins go away, child. They merely fester and become agonizingly painful. You will confess to your every wrong, every sin and repent for before the God and me,” Joseph stated and moved his left hand lower to grip the deputy's throat painfully, but Rook didn't make any sort of a sound and merely glared at the tattooed and bearded man with hate and defiance.

“All it takes to start anew is from you to say “Yes, I am a sinner, Father,”” Joseph murmured and leaned so close that their faces were inches apart. “Admit that you are overflowing with pride and that all of this is your fault and you will feel better, lighter. Confess to me what a wretched, vile and lost creature you are and I will guide you back into my flock and make you part of my family. I will take care of your lost soul.”

 

The younger man gave Joseph a tired and mocking smile and the look in the Father's eyes turned dark and cold.

“Tell you what Seed, I am going to let you have my answer to everything you offer me right now, so listen carefully,” Rook replied and Joseph could see that he was agitated and seething. “No. I will rather die than become part of your fucking family, so save yourself the trouble and just kill me!” he stated defiantly, trying the handcuffs around his wrists once more to emphasize his words, even if all he felt was pain as the metal dug into his flesh.

“My pride did not set the world aflame. Every life lost was caused by you and your family's actions. If you had not gone around murdering people and taking their property and land, none of us would have come here in the first place. The only person you can blame for this is yourself Seed, no one else! Your flock, brothers and Faith are dead because of you forced our hand,” he spat and stared at Joseph with murderous look in his eyes. The man pretended to be a saint, a savior, a modern day Noah, but he was nothing more than a manipulative and charismatic madman. “I refuse to become your devoted little puppet. You will not have me.”

 

With a sigh, Joseph released his hold on his captive's head and pulled back to search for something inside his pocket.

“Truly, those ridden with pride are the hardest to bring back to the flock and helped to see the light,” Joseph said when he finally pulled a small brown paper packet from his pocket. It could have passed for a sugar packet from a coffee shop, but it was unlabeled and crudely made. “They think they can make it alone in the world without any help or God's mercy...and even when they find themselves drowning and sinking to the bottom of Abyss, they refuse the help and are unable to see that they are slowly dying. They are completely blinded by their pride and hubris.”

Rook was trembling now, he had a very bad feeling about this.

“But I refuse to let you drown, my child. I will save your wretched soul no matter what it takes, no matter what methods I have to resort to,” Father Joseph finished as he opened the package and poured the fine green substance onto his hand. Rook could instantly see that it was Bliss but had no idea how strong.

“You _**will**_   become part of my family. I _**will**_   have you.”

Before the young man had time to do anything or hold his breath, Joseph blew the drug in powder form at him much like Faith had done and in an instant, his mind was over taken by bliss and euphoria, rendering him completely defenseless and oblivious to the world around him. His eye sight became unfocused and he could see the lights that danced around.

“No, no, no, no,” the young man whispered in horror and tried to keep his mind focused, not wanting the mind altering drug to overwhelm his senses. He had seen the damage it could do first hand and the idea of being with Joseph under its effect was outright terrifying. After what Faith had done to marshal Burke, he wanted nothing to do with the drug and Seed family members together.

The verdant hues of green overtook the cold and dark grey world around him and he saw how white flowers sprouted from the lifeless concrete floor, making him think he was resting on a beautiful meadow with Joseph looking at him affectionately. Even though he knew it was all just an illusion created by his brain and the substance, it felt so real, so beautiful.

“Relax, let it take over, child...”

It was amazing how Bliss could make even the dark and gloomy bunker seem beautiful, welcoming and warm. His body felt suddenly weak and heavy, like he was under water and weighted down by rocks, or was it his sins? Either way the sensation was not unwelcome and for a first time in days, he felt like he could just close his eyes and dream peacefully. Through the haze he saw Joseph staring at him and he looked almost heavenly, angelic. Suddenly the young man felt very foolish. Why on earth was he so fearful of Joseph, so intimidated by him? The man had been right all along about the world, how mad and insane it had become. It was on fire now and burning to ash.

He saw Joseph moving closer, whispering against his ear, his touch warm and gentle.

“You see the beauty of Eden don't you, deputy? Don't you yearn to be there?" he inquired, his voice like God's sweet whispers. “The Bliss helps you see it, but... true Bliss can only be experienced when you are free from all sin and become part of my flock, only then are you truly allowed to be there,” the cult leader continued as he pulled back and removed the handcuffs around Rook's hands that for some reason had turned into a wreath of flowers. ”You are my family, the only one I have left.”

“No, don't...stay away from me,” Rook said weakly and completely out of it, not wanting the older man to get close. For some odd reason he was almost sad to see the flowers removed from around his wrists. He knew he could fight now with his hands freed, to try and get the upper hand to save himself from the torment that would await him, but he felt just so tired, so peaceful that he just couldn't act violently against the other man. What was the point? No one was coming to save or help him.

He felt Joseph take a firm hold of him and pick him up.

“I will take care of you, child, but first I need to hear you repent for all the sins you've committed against me and my family,” he heard Joseph whisper, and for the first time he actually sounded like he thirsted for revenge, his tone malicious and venomous, but in his Blissful state, Rook barely noticed it.

The world was like a kaleidoscope of various hues of green and the handsome young deputy found himself drifting into sleep he had so foolishly deprived himself of. There was no need to be afraid, everything was going to turn out alright.

He was in God's and Joseph's hands.

“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me,” Joseph hummed softly as he carried his prisoner through the field of green and towards Eden's gates. Rook lifted his gaze to see what they were leaving behind and saw his friends, family and his boyfriend with Boomer in his arms. They all waved at him, as if wanting him to head over to them, but...it felt like such a bother. Joseph was carrying him away towards something even more wonderful. Maybe letting the older man take him through those gates wouldn't be so bad, after all he had been right all along about everything, about the world...and him.

As they passed the gates, the young man found himself drifting to sleep and for the first time in weeks, it was not filled with screams of his friends or Joseph's words after the crash. The gates closed shut tight and in the back of his mind, all he heard were the words to amazing grace as Joseph sang it almost like a lullaby.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think my sin is greed...I want to force content of multiple chapters into one and then I lose myself. I actually wrote 3 chapters worth of text and had to cut it. This is getting out of hand!


	3. Wrath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not very good chapter in my opinion...

_Rook found himself standing in the doorway leading to his and his boyfriend's bedroom. The day had turned into an evening a good while ago and the golden rays of the sun that was slowly descending beneath the horizon shined through the blinds, giving the room a serene and almost dream like feel to it. It was one of those special moments in time you just knew you'd remember the rest of your life. A day of hard work was behind and Rook had returned home unharmed, just the way his boyfriend liked it._

_A soft sigh of happiness and contentment escaped Rook's lips when he saw his boyfriend appear before him, looking handsome and absolutely perfect. He pulled Rook inside the bedroom that basked in the golden sunlight. It was cool, almost cold inside, but the young deputy didn't mind it, after all he had his boyfriend whose mere presence was enough to warm his heart and soul. Rook smiled in loving manner, feeling extremely happy to be back home._

_At times, he did fear that their love wouldn't last because it was so deep and uncontrollable, that something horrible would happen that would tear them apart, but somehow he just knew their bond would last, even if they had argued a bit more than usual, mostly about the dog he was not prepared to take yet. What breed should it be, did they have the money and time to take care of it? What name should they give it? So many questions they did not have a solid answer to yet._

“ _Are you with me?” his boyfriend asked softly as he pulled the other man into his loving embrace. Rook found himself pressing his forehead against his boyfriend's in loving and affectionate manner, seeking more attention. He wished this moment would last forever. ”Are you awake?”_

“ _Yeah, I'm here alright....I've just missed you so much,” Deputy found himself murmuring and for some reason it just felt like they had not seen each other in what felt like a lifetime. Rook could feel his boyfriend's warmth and he yearned for more, wanting to just lie close to him.“I love you so much...”_

_Rook closed his eyes and didn't resist when the other man pulled the shirt over his head, revealing his lean yet toned upper body. He could feel the cool air kiss his skin and it made him shiver and tremble slightly. The other male touched Rook's naked upper body, feeling his toned form and back, his fingers tracing along his spine. It was almost as if he was exploring his body for the first time, learning and studying it. There was something very exhilarating about it and Rook found himself wanting more. He wished to give all control to his boyfriend who knew how to make him happy._

_The young man felt like he was high on something he had confiscated earlier at work and just wanted to lose himself in the warm embrace. He felt so calm and loved that he wished they could just lock themselves away from the world and stay like this forever. The hands moved up to feel his shoulders and neck. There was something possessive about the touch now, as if his boyfriend was admiring something that belonged to him._

_Rook leaned in, wanting to kiss his boyfriend, but this just pulled back just when their lips were about to touch._

“ _Please...I need it,” he almost whimpered, the hunger for intimacy and love becoming unbearable. “I don't want to lose you.”_

_The other male teased Rook with a chance of kiss, his lips almost touching his, but in the end he left him hanging and burning with desire. Rook embraced his lover tightly and never wished to let go._

_The golden rays turned slowly red, too red for it to be just sunlight. Suddenly, he could hear the howling of sirens outside the house, warning of the impending and inevitable doom that would burn and sweep away everything in its path._

_Rook could feel cold terror take hold of his heart when he suddenly saw Jacob, John and Faith standing in the shadowed corners of the room. They were dead, mere shadows of themselves. They stared at him with their empty, dead eyes, yet somehow he just knew that they were welcoming him into their family._

“ _Just how much sin can you carry, child?”_

_Rook's eyes widened slightly when he saw Joseph sitting on the bed, staring at him calmly and with solemn and somber look in his blue eyes._

_The young deputy trembled in terror and held onto his boyfriend whose body had suddenly gone limp in his hold, as if he was dead. He could hear the bombs roar in the distance, the ground shaking underneath their terrible weight. The blast wave and fires were approaching his home, his sanctuary where the worries of work were not welcome._

“ _Is your soul tainted with the deadly sin of lust as well? It must be hard to stay afloat when you are weighted down by so much sin,” Joseph whispered. “You are drowning because of them...yet you refuse my help.”_

_Rook could see the hellish light grow more intense each passing second, yet he couldn't tear his eyes from Joseph's. His heart was pounding against his chest and it felt like he was tied, unable to move a single muscle._

_'This is love, not lust', Rook thought hopelessly, feeling tears trail down his face._

_He could feel the blast wave hit the house, shattering the windows and tearing elements off, but it stood, awaiting for the flames that would burn it down to ash and cinders._

“ _It burns more painfully than anything else, doesn't it?” Joseph whispered as the heat slowly became unbearable. Everything was aflame around them. Rook whimpered in pain but Joseph didn't even feel the heat, after all, he was not a sinner and wasn't burning. “Sin of lust wreaks so much pain, I should know. It consumes one's mind completely, blinds reason and haunts your every waking second.”_

“ _No no no, don't leave me,” Rook cried as his boyfriend turned to nothing but charred remains, breaking apart in his hold. “I need you.”_

_He fell onto his knees and sobbed, holding his head. He couldn't take these dreams anymore. Joseph gazed solemnly at him as the building was engulfed by the flames._

“ _Don't worry child, you'll give your sin filled soul to me eventually,” Joseph murmured softly as he was surrounded by his brothers and faith. “I'll take good care of it.”_

 

Rook woke up with a jolt and gasp/whimper of fear, the way he usually did when witnessing a horrible nightmare and this one had been one of the worst ones so far.

The young man's heart was hammering against his chest and he was breathing rapidly, borderline hyperventilating.

There was still a bit of Bliss in his system and he felt hazy and numb. There were dancing lights at the corner of his vision, but they started to quickly fade away, even if his eye sight remained somewhat blurry.

 _Another Bliss induced nightmare?_ Rook thought as the memories prior to the hallucination came back to him. He recalled lashing out at Joseph who had given him a hit of Bliss, probably to prepare him for whatever punishment his misbehavior and bullheadedness had earned.

Apparently the stuff Joseph had given him had not been very strong, or he had worrisomely developed a resistance to the substance due to the constant exposure over the few weeks.

 _I've had it with these constant nightmares, I can't endure them anymore,_ the young man thought, feeling absolutely devastated because of the dream. He had been able to hold the love of his life in his embrace, only to have him burn to ash while Joseph had watched him with his family, whispering those horrible things to him. It had been like poison to Rook's soul, draining him from all strength and willpower.

Bliss could conjure such beautiful things in one's mind, but those dreams and trips quickly went bad, turning the wonderful and serene dreams into something putrid and nightmarish.

I _miss him so much. I wish I could just turn back time and never leave for this place. I'd give anything to embrace him again and tell him how much I love him,_ Rook thought sadly, regretting how he had not always remembered to say those words to his lover after a long and arduous day of work. He'd never get to tell his love how much he had...no, still meant to him.

When the numbness and haze were finally lifted off his mind and body as well, Rook found himself in a position that made him long for the good old days when he was merely handcuffed to the bedpost.

Rook found himself on his knees with his hands above his head, tied together from wrist with a coarse white rope. His upper body was suspended by the rope that was tied to a hook mounted on the ceiling. Not only were his hands tied together, but ankles as well, making it impossible for him to move effectively. The young man's eyes widened in terror and he tried to yank his arms free, but Joseph had made sure there was no escape. His captor had made sure he was under his total control.

“I see you've returned from the Eden. For a moment I wondered if God had released you from your mortal shell for good and invited you into his embrace,” Joseph voice said and it felt distant because of the drug still in his system. “Bliss can offer a moment of peace even to sinner like you, but it won't last,” the older man continued and Rook could see a blurry figure sitting against the wall across him.

The young man blinked furiously to focus his sight and when the clarity fully returned to him, he saw Joseph sitting on the cold floor with a bible in his hand.

However, the deputy's gaze quickly shifted from the book to the object lying on the floor next to Joseph; a coiled black bull-whip. How on earth Joseph had it in his possession didn't really matter. Whether it was Dutch's memento from his youth or a collectible had little meaning. Only thing that really mattered was that Joseph had it and that it was going to be used.

“Who did you dream of?” Joseph asked quietly as he closed the large book. The look in his blue eyes was solemn and tranquil, yet Rook could see a hint of malice in them.

 _No fucking way,_ was all Rook could think of and when he realized that not only was he bound in the uncomfortable position, but that he was shirtless as well.

The young man could feel his face heat up slightly when he realized that Joseph had partly undressed him and that the act had made it into his dream, or had it been a hallucination? The line between dream, hallucination and reality was starting to get all blurry and he didn't like it one bit.

 _Did I try to kiss Joseph_? _Just how much did I talk again in my sleep?_ Rook asked from himself, feeling ashamed and tad disgusted with himself. _Was it his warmth I felt? What I yearned for?_

It really felt like he was unwillingly giving Joseph more and more tools to use against him.

Rook mind went instantly to the photo of him and his boyfriend he had hidden in one of the jacket's many pockets and prayed in his mind that the older man had not found it. It was all he had left of his love and he couldn't bear the idea of losing it.

The cool air of the room caressed Rook's skin and he couldn't help but tremble slightly when he saw how Joseph put the book aside and instead picked up the coiled dark brown whip before standing up. Suddenly Rook found himself completely sober, as if he had never taken a hit of Bliss in his life. He knew what was awaiting him and it made him try to free himself, even if it was futile.

Joseph's foot steps echoed forebodingly inside the cold and empty construct, as if heralding the world of pain that was about to come. The look on his face was calm yet bleak, and though the man was hard to read, his intentions were clear as day. He stopped directly in front of Rook, towering over the younger man.

“Tell me child,” Joseph murmured softly as he lifted the junior deputy's chin up with the coiled leather whip. Feeling the leather touch his skin made Rook swallow, knowing it would soon kiss his bare back in most painful manner possible. “Do you know what virtue is oftentimes paired with the sin of pride that your soul is ridden with? ”

 _Don't answer him, don't give him anything, he will just twist your words and use them against you,_ the young deputy told himself.

Joseph touched Rook's face with his free hand, trailing his fingers down the deputy's temple and cheek. “Humility,” he explained, blue eyes studying every change in his captive's expression. “A virtue you truly lack nor seem to understand. In your pride, you've elevated yourself beyond God's reach and mercy,” Joseph explained and he got somewhat unhinged look to him as he grasped Rook's face into almost painful hold, his nails digging into the bound man's flesh. “But as your Father, it is my duty to bring you down and guide you back into my flock,” the Father whispered. “Despite being a lost and blinded wretch, you are not beyond salvation. You didn't find me by accident nor by a chance. You were brought to me by a grace of God and I will teach you what true humility means. You will embrace the gift I offer.”

Rook bared his teeth at Joseph and tried to yank his head away from the older man's touch. The position he was forced to be in was extremely uncomfortable. Tons of stress was put on his neck, arms and back and they started to really hurt. He had no idea how long he had languished in that position. Minutes, hours?

“I've already told you Seed, I will not become a member of your family. You will never make me into some puppet or a twisted trophy you can enjoy as you wait out the apocalypse. ”

Something that resembled a small sneer passed Joseph's face and his eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he eyed his bullheaded prisoner. He let go of the younger male's head and walked behind him.

“You are so blinded by your sins that you can't even see the inevitability of it all. You made martyrs of Jacob, John and Faith,” Joseph said quietly as he felt Rook's untouched and smooth back with his hand, feeling the muscles underneath the skin, his finger tips trailing along the spine, just like in the dream. “You took them from me, and in my mercy I invite you to take their place....yet you push me away, refusing the gift I offer because of your pride.”

Rook trembled when he felt Joseph's hand move downwards, down to his lower back. There was something almost longing about it, like Joseph wanted to claim his body, mind and soul in every manner possible.

“You can't escape or hide from God's will. Lord giveth and lord taketh away, and he has given you to me, you, who took away everything I had....” the Father continued, his tone suddenly possessive and dark. “What greater joy is there than to guide a lost and blinded lamb such as yourself back into the flock? You will replace what I have lost.”

Rook tried his bindings again and let out a mocking laugh before gritting his teeth slightly.

“I rather stay blind and lost forever than join your flock, Seed,” Rook growled angrily and tried to free himself once more, but it was all futile. The coarse rope burned his wrists. “I rather sink to the abyss and void, letting my soul be lost forever than accept your 'mercy'. I will never join your flock,” the young man added, stating that he preferred eternal torment to place in Joseph's family.

“You still thrash and struggle in the darkness, but I will make you see the light, child. You will confess to me every sin, every wrong and every misdeed in your life...no matter how small or petty. I will pull them all from you,” Joseph whispered, moving his hand to feel Rook's bare neck and his strong, slightly more rapid pulse. “You will atone for everything and see the depths of your sin, how deep it has grown its roots inside your soul. I will tear them out and in the end, you will beg me to let you into my flock and family. You will yearn for the love I offer.”

“I will never confess anything to you Seed, and I will never be yours,” Rook hissed but Joseph didn't even seem to hear his words. “I swear, you will never hear me confess to being a sinner, no matter what you do to me.”

Rook could suddenly feel Joseph's grip around his throat tighten to the point it was painful and blocked his air supply altogether. The deputy winced in pain and tried to gasp for air. Only when he was about to pass out did Joseph release his painfully tight grip, leaving the younger man gasping for the air

“Pain helps us to see what really matters in life. It pushes aside all the useless and unimportant thoughts that cloud our minds and prevent us from seeing the truth. Pain and suffering gives us clarity of mind. I will help you see just how lost and blinded you are,” the older man whispered and the next thing Rook heard and felt was the leather whip lashing against his back. There was no warning, nor time to prepare. The sharp sound was quickly followed by the searing pain that radiated throughout his bound body. It was clear that the older man was not a stranger to inflicting pain upon others.

 _God!_ Rook thought as he grit his teeth and tried not to let a single whimper of pain out. The pain burned so bad and there was nothing he could do about it. A part of the deputy wished he could just curl up slightly on the floor to alleviate the feeling, but he couldn't even do that. All he was able to do, was hang there and endure it, hoping that Joseph would eventually stop.

“This is the sum of your actions. Every wrong, every slight and every injustice you've committed has brought you to this moment, into my possession....my family,” Father Joseph stated his tone suddenly very dark and possessive. He delivered another painful lash that made Rook gasp in pain despite trying to keep all noise inside. “This, all of this is the result of your sin of pride. I will open your eyes to the truth and in the end, you will embrace it along with my love and mercy.”

 _I have to endure this, I can't give in to him and lose the sight of who I am,_ the young man thought hopelessly. His mind kept traveling to the photo of him and his boyfriend that hopefully was still inside the jacket's pocket. _This is not my fault. I did what I had to, what was expected of me. I have nothing to regret._ Yet, no matter how hard he tried not to think of it, he couldn't help but wonder how things would have turned out if he had just walked away.

The weeks he had spent building the resistance had been for naught, it had been time he could have spent with his family and loved ones. Because of his pride, he had not been able to see his love again.

Had he just walked away, maybe he could have died in his boyfriend's arms instead of finding himself locked inside Dutch's bunker as the cult leader's captive, to be broken and added into his family. The doubt and longing for different outcome were paving the way for Joseph's manipulation and he didn't even realize it.

 _I wish I could just hold you and see you again_ , Rook thought as he recalled his boyfriend's handsome face. He had sent him a single text before leaving for the compound where he had met Joseph and his siblings for the first time. “I love you, see you soon,” had been all he had written.

However, Rook found his mind and thoughts instantly torn away from his boyfriend when he felt another lash on from the whip. The lash left his mind blank and all he could focus on was the searing pain that pushed away everything else. The second strike had been more intense than the first and he feared it would only get more painful as his skin and flesh were torn away by the leather whip. The handsome young deputy grit his teeth and could feel tears of pain forcing their way into his eyes. Even though it was just the two of them inside the bunker, he refused to let the older man hear his yells and screams of agony.

“You can feel it, can you not? The pain purifies, purges, and abolishes all sin from your tainted flesh and soul,” the Father said calmly, underlying his words with strikes that left the bound man trembling and writhing in his bonds. His whole body was tense and it took all of Rook's mental strength to keep himself from letting out whimpers of pain and hopelessness. “Only when the festering roots of your sin have been pulled out can your body, mind and soul heal,” Joseph explained quietly, his tone laced with a hint of lust that went unnoticed by the younger man. “You will accept your place in my family. You've been given a gift....and you will embrace it. I won't let you cast it aside.”

Rook trembled and couldn't help but feel relieved when Joseph stopped for a moment to observe his work. It felt as if the pain that radiated from his back was quickly overwhelming his entire body. The leather whip had torn his skin and bitten into his flesh, leaving behind few trails of blood that traveled down his skin.

“Even a lost and blinded soul such as yourself can find salvation in my flock,” Joseph whispered as he felt the wounds with his hand, caressing them in soothing manner. “Becoming part of my family is the only thing you have left in this world, child. You have nothing else. I am your father, and you are my child. All you need to do is say “yes,” Joseph murmured as he traced his fingers along the angry red lash marks. “Confess to me and I will help you atone. Despite everything you've done, you are not beyond salvation. God gave you to me...”

Rook let out a tired and mocking laugh, the pain serving only to make him more bullheaded. Joseph pushed him and he chose to push back.

“You know Seed, I think God must really hate you if he chose to give me to you, because I will never submit to you. I have a family and even if they are gone, you will never be able to take them away from me or have me replace your brothers and Faith,” Rook growled angrily, though he couldn't help but feel that it was him that God hated. “Hurt me as much as you want Seed, because you will never in a million years hear me confess anything to you. The only one you can blame for your family's deaths is yourself. You brought this ruin upon yourself, you are just too delusional to see it! “

A part of Rook started to wish Joseph would just give him enough Bliss to scramble his brains for good, leaving him in pleasant dreams before dying.

 _I just want to be among my friends and family,_ Rook thought hopelessly, wanting to hold onto those wonderful memories and never let them be corrupted by Joseph.

Yet, they were already starting to become painful. The constant nightmares about the nuclear blasts and his family and loved ones burning in their fires had started to affect the deputy's psyche. Every time Rook recalled his mother or father, the dreams forced their way into his mind. Joseph was always there, always watching him, whispering those lies (or were they truths?) to him.

His family had all been so proud of him, and though they had not always supported his every decision, they had offered their advice and experience in life. They really had been the best family one could wish for. He missed them so much that it was physically painful to think they were all gone. When the bombs came down, did they think of him? Did they wish he had been there with them?

 _I will not let Joseph take them from me and make me his,_ Rook thought defiantly and tried to calm his breathing. If he let him, Joseph would no doubt make him believe his family hated him, that they had suffered because of his sins.

The deputy closed his eyes and prepared himself for another painful bite from the leather whip that never came. Much to his surprise, he heard Joseph coil it up and place it on a nearby table.

 _What is he planning?_ Rook thought and could feel his heart pounding against his chest as he listened to the bearded man's soft footsteps as he walked around his captive, pulling something from his pocket that by the sound of it was a piece of paper.

 _With luck it is another hit of Bliss_ , Rook thought, but when he lifted his head to see what the older man held in his hand, he could feel the barbwire of fear and anxiety coil around his heart again, making him almost forget to breathe.

 _No, give it back,_ Rook thought hopelessly when his gaze fixated on the small object in Joseph's hand. To anyone else it was just another photo, but to him it was the most valuable and important thing left in the world.

What Joseph held in his hand was the photograph Rook had kept hidden away and close to his heart all this time. It depicted him with his boyfriend, looking flirty and playful, their eyes filled with love for one another. What made it all the more special was that it was a Polaroid photo. They had taken it during their first anniversary using a camera they had found stashed away in Rook's parents attic. They had even found film even if had expired and wasn't so good.

There had been something absolutely magical and fun about taking the photos with a Polaroid camera. Knowing that the photo was unique had made it become a sort of a good luck charm to Rook over the years. They both had a photo like that to remind them of the good times they had shared, even if they did not last. But they had, and now that photo was the only memento he had of his lover.

Seeing it in Joseph's hands hurt his soul.

“Speaking of your family, have you ever considered how much you've hurt those closest to you?” Joseph asked calmly as he showed Rook the photo. “Your sins affect everything around you and pride is the most deceptive and destructive of the 7 sins. It slowly corrupts and brings ruin to everywhere you go and in your blindness you can't even see it. How much did you hurt your family and lover when you couldn't swallow your pride? You could have returned to them...but instead you chose to destroy everything,” Father whispered, his tone dripping with venom and malice.

 _Shut up_ , Rook found himself thinking, not wanting to hear anything Joseph had to say to him. _I did not hurt them...I didn't want to._

“Give it back to me, “ Rook said quietly, his eyes burning with defiance and anger. He needed that picture back. “That is the only thing I have left of him,” he added with a hiss which was probably not the best choice of action to take, but the mere sight of Joseph touching the photo made his blood boil. All he felt was wrath and this did not go unnoticed by his captor who eyed him and the picture solemnly.

Joseph ran his thumb over Rook's face in the photo and the look in his blue eyes turned somewhat dreamy and dark, longing even.

The picture was rather old and the deputy looked very innocent in it. The bearded man could feel the burning lust touch his soul as he shifted his gaze from the photo to his captive. If left unbound that deadly sin would send him to the second circle of hell.

Seeing Rook tied up, hurt and under his control made desire flow through Joseph's veins like vile poison, seducing him to listen to the whispers that tried to guide him to the path of sin. He was so tempted to heed those whispers and embrace the lust that burned him so painfully.

“Not only have you sinned against me, but against your family as well,” the Father stated softly. “Had you been able to swallow your pride and realize that I was right about the world, you could have returned to them. Did you ever stop to consider your duty to your family?” the cult leader continued, his words hurting rook more painfully than the lashes. “No, because you are so filled with pride no one else matters to you. You are blinded to the suffering of others.”

“No, no I am not!” Rook growled at his captor who had a solemn expression on his face. Joseph tilted his head slightly to the side as he studied the younger man.

"The roots of your pride kill everything else growing around you. You suffocate and strangle them to death, refusing to let anything else bloom...but you are not beyond salvation. Confess to me and admit I was right. ”

Rook could feel tears of anger and despair form in his eyes. Right now the emotional pain was so much worse than the physical one. He couldn't take his eyes off the photo in Joseph's hand. Seeing his boyfriend smile in the picture gave him strength. Deep down he knew, that he would have supported him, that he would have told him to go there and do his job, to help and protect people from Joseph's family and cult.

His family had always expected him to protect others and do his duty. They knew what path he had chosen in life and what drove him. They had never judged him and he had done is all to nurture love in his family. 

“So what if you were right about the end of the world?!” Rook snapped angrily. A series of lashes was not enough to break him, far from it. “You still took people's land, kidnapped them, tortured them...murdered them!” the young man growled, letting out much of his pent up anger. “Even if I knew your ravings to turn out to be true, I'd still come here over and over again, making the same decisions every god damn time to put an end to the atrocities you, your brothers and followers have committed! The only thing I'd do differently would be putting a bullet between your eyes the moment I walked inside that church! You are one problem that can be solved with a bullet.”

They stared at each other and Rook could see hunger in Josephs' blue eyes.

“So in short, Seed,” Rook snarled at the older man, preparing for the pain to come. “Fuck. You. I will never say 'yes'.” He was not going to say that, no matter what Joseph would do to him. Yet deep down he knew that human body could only endure pain so much.

Joseph closed his eyes for a moment and let out a small disappointed sigh, listening to his captive's words with a sense of calmness and tranquility to him. There was no anger, no wrath in him and it worried Rook.

For a moment, he had forgotten just what the older man held in his hand.

“This,” Joseph said and held up the photo between his index and middle finger, “this prevents you from seeing the light and accepting the gift I offer. It is a relic from the old, sinful world that has been burned away. This is a source of your wrath, ” the Father whispered quietly and smiled, the look in his blue eyes absolutely sinister. “I will remove the roots of your sin and in time, you will heal and accept your place in my flock. I will become your new family.”

Rook's eyes widened in terror when he saw the Father pull a silver zippo lighter from his pocket.

 _No, no no no no no, he can't! Please,_ Rook thought in terror when he realized just what his words had brought upon himself.

Joseph opened the cap with a sharp and foreboding 'clinking' sound and lit the flame.

“Don't you fucking dare!” Rook found himself yelling, losing all control over his emotions. His eyes were filled with wrath, desperation and pure fear. “Give it back to me! Don't you dare burn it!” the young man continued hopelessly. If it hadn't been for his pride and wrath, he would have begged Joseph not to burn it. “I swear you will regret it!”

He had no control, no bargaining chips....nothing. Joseph could just take everything he wanted from him and it was a terrifying feeling.

For a moment they just stared at each other, the flame of the lighter burning without a single flicker. It was steady and calm, just like Joseph who enjoyed the wrath filled, desperate, yet ultimately scared look in his captive's eyes.

“And there it is, the wrath that pains your very being,” Joseph murmured and the look in his blue eyes was almost affectionate and longing, like he wanted to own everything about the younger man already, his mind, body and soul. “I will burn its roots to ash,” Joseph whispered and brought the photo to the flame.

Rook could feel something inside him die when he saw the Polaroid photo catch fire. At first, the small, innocent looking flame just gnawed at the corner, but it quickly started to spread, eating away the picture.

It felt almost as time itself was slowing down due to the adrenaline that rushed through his veins. His gaze focused on his boyfriend's smiling face that was slowly approached by the flame. The deputy tried desperately to memorize every single detail of the photo, to etch them into his mind so that he'd never forget them.

In the end all he could do was hopelessly watch how the fire ate away the face of his love, leaving nothing but ash behind. Joseph let go of the photo and it fell down, curling up slightly as it extinguished itself because there was nothing else to feed the hungry flame. All that remained of the photo that had been with him for years was ash and few dying cinders.

It felt like the world around him was turning to red. Oh it felt almost like he was on Fury again, ready to kill anyone with his bare hands. Rook's eyes were wide, his pupils small. His heart was racing and his breathing was becoming rapid. He was ready to burst and welcome any punishment Joseph had in store for him. His emotions were like a maelstrom inside his soul, uncontrollable and he was getting whisked away by them, losing all control.

He regretted deeply how he had not just sunk his teeth into Joseph's throat when he had the chance, because now all he wanted was to see the older man bleed to death on the floor. He wanted to witness the life leave Joseph's blue eyes even if it meant he was going to meet a miserable end, starving to death. Well he'd die from dehydration first, but still.

Something inside him finally snapped. The pent sorrow and rage he had kept at bay bashed at the gates of his mind and heart, wanting to be let out. He had tried to remain calm and in control for so long, never showing much emotion in front Joseph who'd just use them against him, but he couldn't do that any longer. He had lost the last thing that kept him anchored to reality.

Joseph Seed was going to take everything from him. In weeks or months he'd be just his toy, having lost himself completely to Seed, his psyche torn so that he'd blame himself for everything and accept everything the cult leader said as fact. He'd believe his family hated him, that he was responsible for all the pain and suffering in Hope's county. Joseph would be a God to him.

The gates of hell opened and through them poured the hatred and rage of hundreds of demons.

“I will fucking kill you!!” Rook roared in pure rage, thrashing in his bindings like a wild animal that hungered for its captor's blood. It was clear he had lost all control over himself, overwhelmed by the powerful emotions that were almost too painful to bear. Tears of rage and sorrow trailed down the young deputy's face and he bared his teeth at Joseph who just eyed him calmly, as if enjoying the show. “Do you hear me?! I will make you pay for all the suffering you and your fucked up family have caused! I will drag you to the hell with me if I have to because that is where you belong!”

Rook panted and grit his teeth, unable to hold back the sorrow anymore.

Everyone was gone, his parents, friends and love, probably burned to death by the flames of nuclear fire. He was never going to see them again and now Joseph had taken away the only thing he had left of his boyfriend.

This was the sum of all his actions in the world and it felt so unfair, so agonizingly painful. He had tried his best, helping his family, community and friends, doing his all to be a moral compass in life for others and this...this was all it had led to.

He grit his teeth and could feel large warm tears trail down his face. They landed onto the concrete floor.  _I want to go back home to him._

He saw Joseph step closer and grasp his chin, lifting his head so that he was forced to look into his blue eyes.  
“Shh....There is no need to be afraid,” the Father said and to Rook's terror a small smile passed Joseph's lips. The look in his beautiful blue eyes was possessive, almost ecstatic. “I will take good care of your wretched soul, child...I will free you from all sorrow.”

Rook found his gaze falling from Josephs' eyes to the tattoo on his arm; the picture of his beautiful deceased wife immortalized on his skin.

Suddenly a sense of clarity washed over Rook's soul. It really started to feel like Joseph had been right about the pain, even if it had been the emotional agony that had brought him the clarity of mind.

 _You know Seed...I guess I do bring destruction wherev_ er I go, Rook thought as Joseph moved to pick up the whip once more.

He was going to destroy that tattoo one way or another.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy hell this took longer from me than I anticipated. After 3 deleted drafts and tons of stress induced hair loss, I finally managed to get this done. Next chapter will be much shorter and hopefully better quality. I have a really bad habit of repeating everything over and over again in multiple chapters and I try to get rid of that....  
> I really need to keep the chapters shorter because with this you can see how quickly the quality plummets.

**Author's Note:**

> Probably going to keep any religious tones to minimum due to lack of knowledge.


End file.
